BASEBALL DOGGEREL
In 2007, my friend Stuart Shea and I launched Bardball, dedicated to the revival of baseball doggerel. Every weekday during the baseball season (give or take), Bardball publishes poetry about the current baseball season, and a few of the past. Though it has many of my own poems on it, It’s a fan-driven site that always welcomes new contributors. If you or someone you know likes poetry and baseball, check out Bardball.
Here’s a sample of mine:
Ernie Harwell
Now the Tigers’ voice has been quieted.
He saw teams that won, and fans that rioted.
He saw a man play in the bigs after jail.
He saw a boy pitching tell his baseball a tale.
He saw a flawed man win 31 games,
The careers of good men go up in flames.
He watched a beloved ballpark decay
And the City of Wheels fall by the way.
Yet he knew in the end it was only a game.
God’s plan ignores things like money and fame.
A bat’s just a branch, a mitt is just leather.
Baseball’s true worth is bringing people together.
Some night, when a hit curves decidedly foul,
We’ll hear a faint voice with a sweet Georgia drawl,
Say, chuckling with fathomless love for it all,
“A man from Paradise just caught that ball.”
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ESSAYS
Occasionally I get into a half-serious mood and work on my expository writing. What keeps it fun is that I often get to record them for broadcast. I’ve read most of these on WBEZ, Chicago’s public radio outlet—many thanks to the good people there for the opportunity.
Audio:
Text:
- Spelling Bee
- Uncle-Hood
- No News is Great News
- Chicago: The City That Leases
- The Craft of Conversation
- Where Have You Gone, Vasily Alexeyev?
CHICAGO MAGAZINE
For three years, Dick Babcock at Chicago Magazine gave me free reign and an entire page for something we called “The Garner Report.” They were all satirical graphics – what the mag biz calls “charticles” – riffing on local and national issues. Since they were so graphically detailed, I’ve only reproduced three of them, which I hope you can read.
Text:
- MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant Application
- Vacation Decision: The Dells or Hell
- The Art of Marketing: Gauguin and Van Gogh
A ROYAL REVENGE
To commemorate Queen Elizabeth’s Golden Jubilee (and you probably didn’t even send a card, did you?), the BBC commissioned this story to be read over the radio. This was one of the oddest requests I’ve ever had, but also the most ego-boosting, since the story was broadcast all over the world. No word on whether QEII herself ever heard it.
Text: