Yes, Virginia, There is a Patrick Fitzgerald

Some arresting television this morning, as Governor Blago is nabbed outside his house by the FBI. In one of those moments that will stick in my head forever, like John Lennon’s killing and the first OJ verdict, I found myself in line at the Ravenswood Post Office buying Christmas stamps–the ones with the little nutcrackers on them–when I heard the news on the radio. Since then, I’ve had to pull myself away from the TV a couple of times, just so I don’t veg out enjoying the spectacle of a complete ass being hauled off by the feds for making a complete ass of himself ON TAPE, within the past six weeks, about trying to leverage the vacant Senate seat for his own gain.

It’s a present the whole state can enjoy.

At first I thought, “It’s about time!” This “reform” governor has been about nothing but money and his own future since he unpacked his bags in Springfield. But maybe this is just about the right moment. If it had happened any earlier, his sleaze and stupid hubris would’ve reflected badly on Barack Obama and maybe cost him the election. Any later, and the douchebag would’ve already appointed our new senator (or appointed himself) and we’d be stuck with that stain for who knows how long?

Will this shitstorm in any way effect Obama? Hard to say right now. The TV talking heads were saying this morning that Blago reached out to Rahm Emmanuel for a lifeline, but was cut off. Then US Attorney Fitzgerald decided to haul Blago in before he could do anything stupider than he’s already done. Which, if his past record of bonehead brazen moves is any indication, would have been a doozy.

And all this legal action is related only to his appointment of a new senator, as well as pressuring the Tribune to quit being so mean to him in print. It has nothing to do with all the years of investigations about everyday pay-to-play corruption that Fitzgerald’s been conducting. Astounding! Evil! Audacious!

With the thickness of that head and skin, and the brassiness of his balls, there HAS to be a way to turn his “gifts” for the forces of goodness and not evil. If life were like a Marvel comic, he’d be the stupid weightlifter type who joins the Avengers, then sells out to the Masters of Evil, then back again, and again…..

But this is the real world, and this monkey’s going to Disneyland. He shore has a purty mouth.

The Fitzgerald press conference is just starting! Gotta go pop the popcorn!

5 Replies to “Yes, Virginia, There is a Patrick Fitzgerald”

  1. Fitzgerald must prove the guilt of Blagojevich on all the allegations he has made. His history on cases of corruption are outstanding, though. Thus, me might probably nail the case against Blagojevich.

  2. There are a whole lot of allegations, and Fitz doesn’t have to prove ALL of them. I’d be satisfied with just one, if it would get him out of office.

    And with the amount of tapes that were made, I don’t think it’s a case of Blago “mis-speaking.”

  3. Mr. Garner,

    I’ve enjoyed reading your books. They are delightful and amusing. I have not enjoyed reading your blog. There is too much bitter rehashed hate. It is a shame that you do not appear to realize you have become what you detest in some conservatives.

  4. Wow… This whole corrupt politician thing reminds me of how boring things get in Minnesota on that front. All we have are Norm Coleman’s suits and Norm Coleman’s subsidized-by-a-lobbyist apartment, and Norm Coleman’s wife’s salary-for-nothing, and Norm Coleman’s teeth, and… well, you get the picture. Illinois has always been the best place for honest to God old fashioned corruption.

  5. Some people are speculating that Blago, in saying that he wanted the Senate seat so he could run for President in 2016, is laying the basis for an insanity defense.

    It’s hard to dispute.

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